we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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