i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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