What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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