i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
