i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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