Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
