i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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