Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
