I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
