I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
