Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
