I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
