the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize