didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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