Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she peed on how many people?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
