K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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