Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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