my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
