so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish they made helmets for livers.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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