Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
