i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Randomize
