I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
areolas are like halos for boobs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
