I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
