He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize
