office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
