your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
