If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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