Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
