So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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