As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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