i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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