me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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