can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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