I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
