he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
