1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize