Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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