She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
then he tried to convert me to islam
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She needs sedatives and a leash
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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