their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
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