I should be sponsored by Trojan
Fuck appropriateness.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
