I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She said her name was "party"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
