3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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