I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
