She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
