I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
