I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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