i don't like sucking hair
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
