Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
