***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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