Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
