Since when is my name a synonym for head?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
