You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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