I have demons in me.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im holly from the hills drunk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
