I wish I could teleport
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
All I want is dick and wine.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
