with your own penis?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
