i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
