Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
