I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Someone signed my nipple.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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