Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
